It was the 27th of May. The long wait for the Friends Reunion was over. And with the current
situation all over the world, this was a much- needed distraction. Could I be any more excited? To be
honest though, I didn’t know what to expect but it turned out to be memorable, just like the show
which is still popular today. Of course, there are those who question why there was no black lead or
that some of the jokes were sexist, or homophobic. If you ask me, people have just lost their sense
of humor. There was nothing in that show that was so inappropriate or prejudiced against a
particular group. And no there wasn’t a black lead character. So what? Was there a white lead in the
Bill Cosby show? Sure, there were a couple of white actors like Adam Sandler who made a couple of
appearances but that’s true for friends as well. and even if there wasn’t a single black or Asian or
colored actor on any show, there’s nothing wrong, as long as there’s a valid reason. We have to be
careful not to allow this so called woke culture to actually make us less inclusive which defeats the
aim. If people are really inclusive then they shouldn’t get defensive when they see a homogenous
group in a tv show or any other aspect of their lives. Being truly inclusive means accepting not just
heterogenous groups but homogenous groups as well. And we can all be guilty of this sometimes. I
personally used to dislike how Indians had what I called a Ghetto mentality in that they tried to
create India wherever they stayed abroad rather than embrace the local culture. I still believe that
they should embrace the local culture but I can’t start belittling them because they want to be
around their own people. And that’s exactly what these so called woke, left liberal, cancel culture
enthusiasts do. Just like with friends or the whole Appu debacle. They are trying to bulldoze people
into acting a certain way just because they feel it is not woke enough or inclusive enough. Aren’t
they also guilty of not being inclusive and woke by only accepting heterogeneity? As I watched the
re-union special where they even had fans talk about the impact the show had on them, I realized
that all the criticism of the show is baseless. There were black people, gay people, Asians who
passionately spoke about how the show has helped them get through some of their darkest days. No
one was complaining about it being sexist, fat shaming, homophobic or non-inclusive. And if you
have actually watched the show you will find that there were only a few fat jokes or any other such
things. Coming back to the all-white lead actors, my question is that if for example an Indian wants
to make a show about his friends who are all Indians, why would he cast a black, Chinese or
Mexican actor? Just to show that he’s being inclusive? Well, that’s not being inclusive, that’s being
fake. And Marta Kauffman and David Crane said in their interviews that the characters of friends
were based on their own friends.
The 100-minute reunion truly was emotional for me. Because for me, the show wasn’t just about the
humor. It was much more than that. it was about friendships, relationships, about life’s ups and
downs and how we grow from it. There is so much we can pick up from all the characters. Joey
shows us what a loyal friend is, Ross embodies passion, Chandler and Monica are relationship goals
for sure, Rachel is a self-made woman, and Phoebe is quirky and wonderfully weird, and is so liberal
and accepting, and very wise too. I think if you focus on the right things in this show you will find a
lot of inclusiveness and diversity. The reunion saw all six actors in the same room after years and you
could see how emotional it was for them. That’s another thing about friends; I haven’t seen any
show where the actors have built a life long friendship like the cast of friends. And not just the lead
actors. You could see clearly that even when some of the memorable supporting actors made cameo
appearances in the episode, the lead cast was so happy to see them. And this relationship that the
entire cast shared with each other was evident in the on -screen chemistry during the show. As the reunion came to an end, I realized that it wasn’t just a Friends Reunion but a reunion of 6 lifelong
friends who were meeting after years. As they promised each other that from now on they won’t
wait so long to meet up, I realized that this was the last time you would see them together on air as
the Friends cast. It also dawned on me what an impact the show made on their lives as well.
So what is the takeaway from all this. Well, if you ask me, with all due respect, shows like friends or
characters like Appu have done more good for people than this so called woke activism. The answer
to a more inclusive society is not canceling entertainment characters or belittling great
entertainment. Freedom of the creative arts is critical in shaping our hearts and minds and will help
in creating a truly liberal and inclusive society. The answer I think lies in addressing the actual issues
like discriminatory Government policies and the effect it has on society. Because like Ibram Kendy
very correctly brings out in his book “how to be an anti-racist” that racism is not about hate, it’s
about convenience and power. And politics is the greatest seat of power and racism is one of the
instruments to stay in power. As far as the manifestation of racism in people like you and me is
concerned, we need to accept and acknowledge our differences, and learn to cope with the things
that are alien to us about each other. We also need to laugh at our racial stereotypes provided it’s
done across the board and not derogatory or offensive to a particular race or group. This is where
mental health awareness and therapy plays such a big role in changing the way we react to
differences or any other issue. Also, as far as America is concerned, they need to really do some
introspection into their society. The problem with American society is that it is very self centric. It’s
only about me and my dreams, my happiness etc. I’m not saying all those things are bad. No not at
all. But wise people will tell you that true happiness and contentment doesn’t come from just
achieving your dreams, it comes from being mindful and empathetic. It comes from choosing the
people in your life rather than material wealth. It comes from delayed gratification rather than
instant gratification. It comes from facing challenges rather than finding an escape. It comes from
gaining some perspective and depth. It doesn’t come from getting sloshed every Friday night and
fooling yourself in that moment that life is great.
I believe in the power and goodness of the human spirit and I’m truly hopeful that as a race, the
human race that is, we will overcome whatever challenges are put in front of us. As far as America is
concerned, its time to dig deep and get a grip. I’m not a Trump fan by any means but he did say one
thing that made sense and that is ‘lets make America great again.’ Because as much as I love Friends,
there is so much more that America has given me and the world. And just like the legacy of the
show, we would all want the legacy of the New World to continue.